Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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