So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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