We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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