I want to stick my p in your. b.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
