oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
