we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
