do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
