Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
