how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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