i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
