I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
