I am spending my child support on dildos
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
