Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
