420 ftw
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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