I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize