I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
