roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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