What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
