Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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