$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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