He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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