I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
