Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize