I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize