I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
