Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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