I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
