You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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