His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just invented taco cereal.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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