I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
