i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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