Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize