What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Enjoy the penises
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
