There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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