i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
