Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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