check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
