forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
