living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
