Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
