Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
