I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
