Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
