Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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