I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
