Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
