no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
