Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
