Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize