Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We need to get me chipped asap
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
