Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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