Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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