She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
