Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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