Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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