I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
