Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
