My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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