escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
