Where is the hickey?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
