i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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