are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Can you bring me the toilet please
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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