I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize