I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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