Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
