so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
