Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
