It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize