Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize