I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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