I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize