wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
